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my stupid fucking friends!
god, the one time, that i get to be with you, since our breakup, i thought, i should bring my friends to see YOUR friends, instead they get up my ass, and ruin EVERYTHING!, i wish they would leave me alone sometimes. its like FUCKOFF!, god. they always try and be ‘cute’ with there jokes/pranks but its not even cute, its messed up, i didnt even get 5 minutes to myself with you. no sarcasm intended. it like sucks. i wish they would GO AWAY!. fuckshitdamn. i love you<3
[i love how in my posts, i talk to you, like your reading it.]
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we can dance forever…
so i finally told my best friend how i felt about everything, and she told me the same thing i have thought all along. “just tell him how you feel” and thats simple and understandable, but i can’t. why? because if i tell you, you might not feel the same. so what am i supposed to do now? i would rather be “just friends” then not have you at all, and im afraid if i tell you, and its not good, then we cant be friends, and then… im really alone, and it’s hard enough, not being able to love you it would be even harder not to have you at all. :(
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that stupid message.
its still in my draft’s box of my phone, and all it says is “i still love you” and i cant hit send, believe me when i say that ive tried, so hard. and ive tired a million times to delete it but i cant. and the hardest thing i think i have ever had to do, is just be friends with you because i love you, i love you more than anything else in the world, and i need you becase with out you im a bigger mess than i was before. and maybe you dont understand how hard this is for me, but its who i am, and it hurts more than anything to know that you have no idea i feel like this, that you cant understand how it hurts to see you with her, and i wish with all my heart that you would see that i love you, with everything i am. Please, just see it, just see me. just see us.
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i’ve got you all figured out. (:
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what am u supposed to do, when the best part of me was always you?
I woke up today, with too much on my mind, i thought about what everyone said that broke us up, the things i listened to that pushed me over the ledge. the way things went the way that we did. and then i thought about how, you would rather be with me more than you would with your current girlfriend, i guess thats a good thing? for me, that is. for her, i feel bad, my goal in life is to hurt No one. but then again, maybe im doing this girl a favor. keeping her from giving her heart to someone, who already has there’s taken. i told people that i made a mistake with you, but i lied, through my teeth, you were my everything, 6 hours on the phone, stupid inside jokes, and the stuff that always got us in trouble, but thats what made me love you. love myself for loving you. i was the happiest, and now ill do anything, incluidng hurt everyone i love, just to get that back, and if my friend and family love me like they say, then it’ll be okay, because they’ll be happy that i am. so just give me a chance? one last time? lets pretend that were still in love.
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“just to spend the night with you, one last time.”
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what was.
last night, i felt my heart drop a million feet into the bottom on my stomach.
i cant stop thinking about how much i love you, how much i need you.
why did i lose it all? why did i stop? i wanna scream and pull all my hair out, i wanna cry, but i cant stop thinking about what you said. ” we all make mistakes”
thats what you said about me, but i dont wanna make the mistake of letting you go again.i wanna chance for it all to be ok
everyone says the know how i feel, well if so many people do? then why can’t they tell me what to do about?
“all i have ever learned from love, is how it ends, in a terrible mess”
-unknown.
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My favorite layout site?
So theres like a million layout sites, and since i did own fantase, i know a lot of the owners, like monica @ starkiss, shes pretty fuckin awsome, but i have to say, my favorite site so far is clashy.org the owner is constantly updating and he has colors:D like most sites are boring as shit, but that one is like the bomb digityy (:
so check em’ out;D
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so i was thinking…
about stealing my brothers computer, it has webcam:D
i wanna chat w/ people, im bored out of my mind. :))) -
Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we’re wired that way. Because without it, I don’t know; maybe we just wouldn’t feel real. What’s that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.
– Gray’s Anatomy
